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Wayne
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AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
01/24/18 at 18:21:09
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To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over shortly after you pulled
the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when
I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber
Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it
was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of
what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... after I broke the
windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Trump as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution
is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path
you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper fi,
Alex
  

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Agman
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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #1 - 01/24/18 at 18:34:13
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Sounds like my kind of guy, although way out here in the boonies we rarely have issues like this one.  I'm a wheel gun guy, but I like 1911s OK.  I figure that a 1911 is roughly equivalent to my .357 Magnum.  To each his own.  The fact to remember is that this guy was ready, willing, and able to maintain protection for himself and his lady.
  

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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #2 - 01/24/18 at 18:35:49
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Do not mess with the USMC!!! Period.

Ms. Borelli
  

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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #3 - 01/25/18 at 04:15:32
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I crapped my pants from laughing.
  

Cordially,
David "The Mahdo One" Nelson
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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #4 - 06/15/18 at 06:21:04
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This is like 10 yrs. old.
  
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Wayne
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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #5 - 06/15/18 at 08:16:53
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gsurko wrote on 06/15/18 at 06:21:04:
This is like 10 yrs. old.



  And your point is??????????
  

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cj_real_american
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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #6 - 06/15/18 at 12:35:29
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Grin  Grin  Revenge is sweet!!!!!  I love this one although it's a few years old, it needed to resurface.  Grin
  

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Nyte_Byrd
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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #7 - 06/15/18 at 13:25:36
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Grin

Sounds like it was an oldie but goodie.  I must have missed it when it first surfaced.  First time I saw it.  Cheesy
  


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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #8 - 06/15/18 at 14:43:59
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BOY!  Would I ever love to watch that!
I think I'd have added one thing to his punishment, however.  I'd have made him sit down on the curb for 5 minutes after he crapped his pants.  Just to make sure he got a good whiff of what he did.   Grin Grin
  

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Re: AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
Reply #9 - 06/15/18 at 15:49:50
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The 1911 was my "T-O" weapon when I was in the Marines. It does pack a wallop.  Wink
  

Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery. ~Winston Churchill

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